Pasta la vista

I decided to get some cans in and just knock about the hostel last night but there is a distinct lack of off licenses about in Toronto and the duff (get it?) directions the miserable girl at reception had given me didn’t help. So I thought sod it and went to see ‘Drag Me To Hell’.

It wasn’t great but not bad either, the ‘Evil Dead’ style set pieces were quite good and made you go urgh lots.

What was cool was that there was a scene near the end in a location I recognised instantly, Union Station in LA. It also showed the Pacific Surfliner Amtrak train that I’ve very recently been on. It’s no myth when they say the whole of LA is a film-set.

One other thing, the majority of major train staions in Canada and America seem to be called Union Station. Why I hear you cry, I don’t know but would like to is my answer.

From here on in I’m sticking with matinĂ©e shows on this continent. I don’t want to hear hollering, whooping, raucous laughing (when there’s nowt to laugh at), cheering, jeering and clapping along with people’s plot perceptions voiced out loud. It was like being on a day trip to Wrestle-Mania with a large group of Tourettes sufferers.

At about 4 in the morning I was awoken (even with earplugs in) by a constant knocking at the door. I jumped down from the top bunk as the French dude below was still happily in the land of nod, I then opened the door in a slightly befuddled state.

Greeting me was a very animated young Italian chap waffling on about a girl, a bag and a key. After about 30 seconds of this I glanced down and noticed a young Italian chapette lying completely comatose at the door. At this point I should point out the unusual layout of the room: 1 bunk-bed and 1 double-bed (which the French guy had previously had but on that morning had to vacate for a different young Italian chapette).

So anyway, I gathered that he was looking for the girl in the double-bed as in her bag she had the other girl’s house key or something along those lines. So with the French dude’s blessing (he had now also awoke in an equally befuddled state as myself) I turned the light on and he started to shake the girl while murmuring in Italian, she was out for the count and having none of it. As he couldn’t find the bag either, he seeked my approval on plan B which I duly gave. With this he picked the girl in the doorway up and plonked her next to her friend in the double-bed. He then apologised for the inconvenience and that was the excitement over.

The Italian girls have now left in a fuzzy manner and as the French guy has also gone I’ve laid claim to the double-bed for the next 2 nights, belter.

It’s half 4 and I’ve just had my brekkie/lunch/tea of some weird healthy organic cereal (ginger, cranberries and everything) as a reaction to the daft amount of fast food I’m having to eat. There is a man sat in front of me humming along to the chorus of Toni Braxton’s ‘Unbreak My Heart’, I say man but he is humming along to the chorus of Toni Braxton’s ‘Unbreak My Heart’. Right, let’s go and have a butchers at Lake Ontario then.

I’m sure threre are a lot prettier stretches of Lake Ontario than the one on offer at Toronto harbour, average at best.

I had a quick mooch over to the CN tower too, I might go up it tonight or tomorrow night if I can bring myself to part with the exorbitant amount of cash requested for the privilege.

So now I find myself a bit bored and with nowt to do and I seemed to have just purchased a ticket to the 7:00 showing of ‘Terminator Salvation’, okay I know I said matinĂ©es only from now on but what’s a cinephile to do eh? I’ve also stocked up on some teriyaki beef jerkey, now that stuff is killing my funds as it is truly exorbitantly priced but I’m addicted.

I’ve got half an hour to kill before the film and there is a stage in the main square outside the cinema with free stuff on every night. The fella on at the moment is named Daniel Lanois and it’s not really my thing but it’s not bad though, bit like Springsteen.

Terminator was a bit bobbins really. I think Christian Bale threw such a wobbler on set when he realised he was not very good (he mumbles and shouts his way through the entire thing) in a not very good film. It is better than the last one but not a patch on the first 2. Very crass and the script is lamer than a duck at a Texas rifle convention.

Also paying homage is one thing but actively stealing scenes and shoehorning lines in from 1 and 2 is quite another. It’s not awful but it’s left me with no desire to see the coming sequels (man do they let you know there is more coming).

On the way back I realised that there is a huge cinema 1 block behind where I’m staying. I’ve been doing a 45 minute round trip each time, numpty.

One of the other things I can see on the WordPress dashboard is what searches are bringing people to the site and some are most bizarre. Yesterday I had ‘Dan Bowen Food Lion’. WTF? The most popular one is ‘Fake International Student Card’.

I’m ready to move on from Toronto now, still a full day left yet though. Just having some pasta and Ragu now. See ya.

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